We had a cheeky little Grandad
Whose influence was both good and bad.
He taught us many valuable lessons
But most of them drove our parents mad.
Family holidays were so much fun,
Especially with Grandad around.
As soon as he picked up a bucket and spade
You knew you were adventure-bound.
Grandad and his troop of sandcastle makers
Would conjure up an imagined land
And Grandad would look proudly on his grandchildren
Until he’d spot a stray one stuck in quick sand.
As for day trips to Dymchurch
Well, they were an absolute hoot.
Every grandchild would be racing to go
Until a grown up would say “not until you’ve eaten your fruit”.
At which point, cue wise old Grandad
Whispering advice so simple yet bold:
“You know, if you mash up banana with sugar,
I’m pretty sure you’ve done exactly as you were told.”
Upon arrival at Dymchurch seafront
All the parents could predict
Any child to enter the arcade with Grandad
Would emerge a coin machine addict.
Grandad would spend many hours in the arcade
And we would often leave him there.
Whilst Grandad won us some prizes
We would bounce around the funfair.
On one drive back to the holiday home
Grandad drove Laura, Pete and Matt.
When it came to simply parking the car,
Well, where was the fun in that?
Grandad decided to be a boy racer
And confidence he certainly did not lack.
He skidded around the whole car park
With three screaming grandkids in the back.
Back at home, on Sundays
The whole family would descend
On the house of Grandma and Grandad
Where there was yelling and laughter no end.
We all know who really cooked our Sunday lunch.
Chef Grandad cooked roasts with flair.
Grandma may have worn the apron
But only for snoozing in her chair.
Sundays were also for adventures with Grandad,
Bird watching and games and more.
And if the afternoon started to lull
There was always a story about the war.
We will miss your crazy antics Grandad
And even though you may also miss the riot,
Now that you’re reunited with Grandma
We know that you’ll get no peace and quiet!